"how do I talk to my kid about sex?"

As kids approach puberty, they’re going to start having questions about their bodies—qustions that might catch you off guard or feel embarrassing to answer.  These moments can be challenging, but they’re a great opportunity to pass on some valuable messages to your son or daughter.  While you can’t control everything they do, you can be a source of information, and just as important, you can pass your values along to them.  So while you might be flustered when your kid wants to know what a clitoris does or what “blow job” means, take a deep breath and take advantage of this teachable moment.

Some tips:

• If they ask you a question, start by inquiring about what made them ask, and ask them what they think the answer might be--both these questions give you a moment to collect your thoughts, and give you a chance to find out where they're coming from and how much they already know.
  
• Use "teachable moments:"  if you're watching TV or a movie, and the subject of sex comes up, try to start a conversation and see where it leads.
• Offer your kids books on sexuality--they allow teens to learn what they need to know privately.  Just make sure you read the book before giving it to your kid, and follow up later to see if they want to talk more about what they've read. 
  
• The best way to be age-appropriate is to give brief and simple answers--if your kid wants to know more, they'll ask follow-up questions.
• Answer questions honestly. And if you don't know the answer, say so, and find out together.

Hire me to do a workshop on sexual health for parents in your community.